The Largest Mall in the World and my Disabilities in Playing the Game of Golf

Well this weekend I went to Edmonton (or as I affectionately referred to it in University as Deadmonton). I haven't been their in a while. The last time I went was for my convocation ceremonies where they unknowingly gave me my business degree diploma. It's better to visit than live in! I drove down there listening to a book on tape by Stephen king on my Ipod through my radio (due to the joys of an I-Trip). Trust me, listening to a book on tape or a comedy CD is the way to go on a long trip, whether that be a long drive or a long run or whatever you would like to end quickly. You forget what you are doing and get engrossed in the book. Just don't fall asleep or veer off the road because one of the main characters die!!!

When I got to town me and my friend ordered pizza and got liquored up to go to the bar. We went to a pub-style bar that has a small dancefloor. This is a place that was legendary in university for its drunken fun times (not to mention it's long-ass lines) which I never went to once in my years living in Edmonton. It did not disappoint. The DJ at the bar loved me! It was like total request Cowtown Gal! He played EVERYTHING I asked him to. And he wouldn't wait the entire night to play a song, he'd play it the next song. This guy was my hero DJ. I was surprised too. Their were tons of way more scantily-clad girls asking him to play songs but he played mine. I wish I could bottle this guy and sell him to every bar I plan to go to in the future. If I have to fight another DJ to play My Pony by Genuiwine so that I can do my patented "My Pony" dance (circa 1999) I will cry.

(This is a picture of me and my friend at the bar with the pink, inflatable flamingo that I stole from a bachelorette party!)

The bar was filled with lots of cute guys, not that I'm looking. Boys are like food in a restaurant to me, I can look at the menu but I always go with my tried, tested and true favorite. Usually I like to bring a single friend along so I can have an excuse to talk to the cute ones (to pick them up and pass em off to a single friend). No single friends on Saturday night though, so I had to avoid them all together. I danced my butt off all night and drank way too much. I also tried to speak my rendition of French to a French guy because I swear I can speak fluent French when I am drunk. He was really impressed! Riiighttt!

On Sunday we met up with a couple of friends that were visiting Red Deer and a couple of my other friends who still have not gotten the memo indicating they should move to the good city (a.k.a. Cowtown!) and still live in Deadmonton, for lunch. I then went to the lovely West Edmonton Mall. Almost immediately after I left Deadmonton they built an Abercrombie and Fitch, a Hollister and an Urban Outfitters in that mall. Since we don't have those stores at all in Cowtown (even though it is a rich oil city that would jump all over and buy up all their merchandise), I went crazy. Well not that crazy. I love Hollister by why don't they turn on the lights there. I doesn't make sense. I also get the impression that they have run out of room or couldn't afford a big enough space because I knocked over a display (then proceeded to run out of there embarrassed). I informed the retail clerks at the store that they should invest in a store in Cowtown. They gave me a "I'll-Get-Right-on-That" look. I also went to MAC and bought my first eyeshadow. I walked in and told one of the artists and told her that I wanted to do the smoky-eyed look and $80 later, I was given some makeup and a card telling me how to do it. I'm scared shitless to try it out though!!! I then went out for supper with the same friends to the Sicilian Pasta Kitchen (the best restaurant if you are ever through those woods).

On Monday, I was invited to play golf with a couple of guys from work. I warned them, many times, that I sucked a lot! But they kept on brushing me off and saying "You can't be that bad". Did I prove them wrong. I seriously lost one ball per hole. Thank goodness my dad lives on a golf course and has a secret-spot where people lose their balls and can never find them. He literally has thousands of balls in his garage. So I feel obligated to lose them (yeah I know, good excuse). Well I went for the hit it into some trees and then go grab the ball (if I can find it) and throw it on the fairway. I stopped keeping score after the 2nd hole because I was on track to golfing a 180. Man I need to take lessons next year!!! The highlight of the game is where the marshall came along and told me to "Put more clothes on". I was wearing a tank top which apparently is too nice for that bougie course!!! Ah well. This weekend is going to be extremely exciting because I have to sit through a three day course (8am til 4pm) as part of my schooling to become a chartered accountant (like the CPA's of Canada). Woo! Go accounting!