Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Life is Coming Along!

So both me and the boyfriend both passed our scooter-driving tests on Monday and are now liscenced to drive a scooter. What an epic journey that was. Well they have this thing called "island time" here. Whatever would take you like 20 minutes at home will take you about 4 hours here.

First of all, our Examiner started the test about 45 minutes late. So we both did our test and then we went inside to wait for the guy to stamp our form as "passed". So the Examiner saw one of his friends and chatted to him for 30 minutes. After that he finally gave us our cards and told us to go to the information desk. The information desk lady then gave us a number. It was about 3:05 at this point. So we waited in line. It was at number 275 and we were number 350 and 351. Finally, they processed our licence at 5pm. We then get home and the boyfriend notices that the dumb bitch who processed our licence had forgotten to put that we were able to drive motorcycles as well as scooters. This would be fine except that the island is really hilly and you need at least a 100cc bike (which is considered a motorcycle here) to pass people on these hills.

At this point the Transport Control Department was closed so I decided I would go the next day. So I went down the next day and complained. Some guy takes my licence and then goes in the back and does not emerge for 45 minutes. He then gives me a piece of paper saying that I passed for motorcycle too and then tells me to see information. I then see information lady and she gives me another number. I am like "You have to be kidding me" and everyone around me gives me a "Stupid white girl is throwing a fit for no reason look". So I sit down and wait in the waiting area. They finally call my number at about 10:30am (I had shown up at the place at 8:30am) and then act like they are doing me a favour by correcting something they should have done in the first place! Ya so needless to say, I hope I never have to go in that damn place ever again!!!!

Yesterday I bought a new scooter (a MIO 100cc cappucino coloured). I will post some photos of it when I get a chance (ie remember to bring a camera with me!) and I got a cell phone. The cell phone salesperson was pretty awesome too. She looked pissed at me when I prevented her from sending text messages for 10 minutes so she could set me up with a phone. It's not like it's not your job biatch! She also had this disgusting long-ass fake nails with some sort of decoration that looked like a spiderweb or something on them. Ah well, gotta get used to a slower-paced life. Not a good move when you come from Cowtown because everyone is so impatient at home. If you don't get served in like 10 minutes of sitting down, in Cowtown, you start to eliminate parts of the servers tip! That shit would never fly here!

Monday, January 14, 2008

First Weekend in Bermuda

Well this weekend was pretty busy! On Friday night we hit up the gym. By the way, my friends from Cowtown that bitch about Banker's Hall gym being expensive at $1000 per year, they aint got nothing on the gyms here! I had to pay $1700 for a 1 year pass at this gym! That is crazy talk! Since I am a nerdy accountant type, that works out to about $8.50 per visit to the gym (if I am able to make it 4 times a week - which is freakin' unlikely!) After that, we hauled it over to a work-mates home for some burgers.

The guy who's house we went to is quite a joker. He told us all sorts of stories that ranged from when he fell asleep without his pants on in the office and a partner found him to why he failed his Chartered Accountancy exam twice and his CFA exams 3 times. He's a pretty funny guy and his wife puts up with his chananigans quite well. We then headed out to a pub. We had a few drinks there and then my work-mate bought me a Crown and Ginger (one of my favorite drinks ever), which happens to cost practically an arm and a leg here in Bermuda, and some drunk Irish dude threw a blow-up doll at my drink and smashed my drink all over my legs. First of all, what was he doing with a blow-up doll and why the hell was he throwing it. I think I shed a tear for my Crown....because Crown is a mint in Bermuda. I have to switch to rum instead....as the stuff practically comes out of the taps here. It was pretty fun there, but the highlight of my night is when they played "Soulja Boy" and I did the Soulja Boy dance along with some of the locals. I have never seen so many people give me a "Holy Shit what a cracker" look at the same time. Oh well, they didn't even know how to do the dance properly......wannabes!

On Saturday night I went with some friends to the Just for Laughs comedy show. I love me some live comedy. Most of the comedians were friggin' hilarious. One of my favorites is when, in referring to Tyra Banks, one of the comedians says "When the fuck did we start letting models talk?"

On Sunday, as I have been looking for stuff to be involved in, I joined the Bermuda Ultimate Frisbee Federation. I have never played ultimate before but let me tell you, that shit is fun. I ended up getting so into it I was trash talking the other team by the end. I am definitely going to regularily attend! Also, me and my boyfriend finally found a place to live. A really small 1 bedroom apartment, for the bargain price of $2000 per month (trust me that is actually cheap here!) My boyfriend made the comment that we will be living like students for the next 2 years. I am like "why?" because we are chartered accountants now and are making a good amount of money. He's a major cheapskate but whatever I will hopefully be able to change him a bit!

So all I have to do now is pass my scooter test later today, and my life will be almost in order!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Cowtown Gal Becomes Beachtown Gal!

Sorry for the massive hiatus, but I have been very busy, as of late, and actually didn't have anything that interesting to talk about. But, upon the suggestion of friends, I have started this blog up again to keep my friends at home up to date with what is going on in my life.

Well I got sick of good 'ol Cowtown so I decided to move this show to a different locale. I have officially become a resident of Bermuda. In about May of last year, as I walked through a snowstorm that had no business being there at that time of year (April flowers should bring May flowers god damn it!), I turned to my boyfriend (yes I am still dating the one I was dating a new year's last year) and asked "Hey do you want to move to Bermuda?". He is a chartered accountant too so it was both super easy for us to make the move here. So he obviously agreed and fast forward to January of 2008 and we are now here!

Well lots has happened in the last year:

  • I went through a change in soccer teams because the coach of my old soccer team cut me from the team after I helped bring him a provincial win


  • I studied all summer for my Uniform Final Examination to become a Chartered Accountant and passed that shiznit (wrote the test in September then they made me stew in my own nervousness until November 30 when they finally told us the results)

  • Was a maid of honour when my little sister got married two times (haha I know what you are thinking but it was twice to the same guy - once legally in Canada and once cerimonially in the Dominican Republic)


  • Went to Vegas for the second time in my life with the boyfriend and won a whole $400 (I know I am so rich) and found out that the boyfriend likes to drunkin' break up with me when he gets past a certain level of drinks (it is about at the 15 beer area) and regret/not remember it in the morning


  • Went on a trip to Japan and Thailand with my friend from work to celebrate finishing our Chartered Accountancy exam


  • Went to the Dominican Republic with my sister and family and friends to witness my sister getting married (let me tell you, all inclusives are fun but the food tends to shoot through your system quickly due to its poor quality - if you know what I mean). Dominican Rum is yummy and potent!

  • Spent Christmas at Canmore with the family and New Year's with friends in Calgary

So all in all, it was a great year, to say the least! I am very broke now but I am rich with life experience. Well if life experience = drinking/no money!


So I own a condo in Cowtown, which I wish I had never bought, which I wanted to sell before I left. My realtor sat me down and said that I would basically only get $10,000 less than I paid for the place (less his $12,000+ in realtor fees that I would have to pay him to do so). He suggested that I wait for 6 months and sell it at that point. At this point, I had my best friend living in the condo with me so I asked her if she wanted to stay, which she did and then we set out on a search to fill the other room with a roommate. I paid money to list it on a bunch of sites and then, when I was at the wedding, one of my sister's friends asked about the place, and ta-da, he moved in. I am losing a bit of money each month but that bit of money is better than losing $22,000! I will try and sell it again after the 6 months is up. The market in Cowtown is ridiculous!!!!!!! No one is buying anything and the only people that sell are those that are willing to part with their place for $30,000 under what they list it for (and that my friends is not me!).


I also sold my car the day before I left to go to Bermuda (thank god) but have to wait for the dude that bought it from me to pick it up from my parents when he gets back from work on the rigs up North. The guy paid me a deposit but I still have to wait for a couple of weeks for the money (which would be really useful right now to pay damage deposits and to buy a scooter!) Ah well, at least I can sleep easy knowing it is sold.


So I finished up work at my old workplace on December 21st and spent the rest of the xmas holidays packing and such to get ready to leave. I managed to pack all my worldly possessions into three 50 pound bags (after giving approximately four very full garbage bags of clothes that I never wore away to charity!) I brought only clothes, shoes, a bunch of bathroom crap and books here with me. It is crazy to go with so little (I typically pack the same amount just to go on a one week trip!) We left to Bermuda on the 3rd of January on the Red Eye flight to Toronto that was supposed to leave a midnight. Unfortunately the plane was two hours late which made us late to catch our plane from Toronto to Bermuda. So we landed at 8am in Toronto and the flight to Bermuda was leaving (from the other side of the airport) at 8:30am. So we hauled ass across the airport and made it to the plane before it left. Because our luggage wouldn't quite make it as fast as us, they would not let us go on the plane. Air Canada sucks, that is all I can say!


In the end, they put us on a Delta flight to JFK and then we transferred onto an American Airlines flight from there to Bermuda. Because me and my boyfriend had extra bags, they made us repay the extra bag fee for Delta (even though stupid Air Canada already had a bunch of our money for that). When waiting for them to re-route the flights, we met a man that actually worked at the place we were going to be working at in Bermuda. He helped us call the office to let my friend that was meeting us at the Bermuda airport know that we would be late. So the Delta flight ended up being 1 hour late because there was too much luggage on the plane (probably mine and my boyfriend's fault so I can't complain too much) and then the American Airlines flight was 2 hours late because customs had to search the plane for something (which was a little worrisome considering the plane came from San Fran prior to arriving to JFK!)


We finally arrived in Bermuda at about 10:30pm (we were supposed to land at noon) and then we had to go through the fun experience of going through customs as a first time resident. This is where they search your bags for stuff you are trying to smuggle into the country. In case you didn't know, Bermuda does not charge income tax to employees that work in their country. So how do they pay for roads, police, firemen, etc. you ask? By taxing the shit out of everything that is imported into Bermuda. They charge 25% on everything other than used clothes and shoes (thank god for that because my jeans collection alone would have cost me about $700) that you bring into Bermuda. My new employer had informed me of this, so they told me to write a list of all my possessions I have that were not clothes and assign them a reasonable value (i.e. what someone would pay for them if they bought them as they were today). I of course opted for a low value (all my stuff is crap anyways).

While we were waiting in line for them to search our bags, some idiot pulled a can of spices out of his bag and they exploded thus making all the customs agents and all us poor suckers that were standing in line, cough our lungs out. The damn potent shiat stayed in the air for a good 20 minutes after he put it away. It felt like the one time someone maced someone in the hallway that vented into the gym I was working out in in Edmonton. The customs agents pulled out the SARS masks which we all put on. It was funny. We all looked like there had been an outbreak of some deadly virus. I would hate to see what the relatives/friends, picking people up at the airport, thought when people walk through the doors with these masks on!


Anyways we finally got through customs, paid a small fortune in taxes, and met up with our poor friend who had been waiting since 10pm to pick us up from the airport. We caught a cab to the guesthouse we were staying at and then passed out. The next day we rented a scooter and found a grocery store. The first thing we noticed is how much everything friggin' costs here. To give you an idea, here is the price of some common household items:

1. Toothbrush - $5.50

2. 1/2 gallon of milk - $4.35 (by the way it is powdered milk too!)

3. 2lb of frozen chicken breasts, boneless, skinless - $9.99

4. Ice cream (1/2 gallon) - $7.20

5. Normal chocolate bar - $1.25

6. Coke (6 pack of cans) - $9.00

Ya so needles to say, I may go broke buying food!

On Saturday night we were invited to a managers house for dinner. They served us a wicked meal (may be the last time I eat after taking in the freakin' price of food here!) We sat around drinking wine and bullshitting! Apparently my friend and the manager whose house we went to that night scrapbook on Wednesday nights. My manager's husband claims that they never scrapbook and just sit around drinking wine. My friend showed me her scrapbook and she had only done 3 pages in 1 whole year. Ya sounds like my kind of scrapbooking club!!!! On Sunday we took it easy and drove around the island a bit (it is only 23 square miles and has a population of about 62,000) and had a picnic on the beach. I love that I only have to drive a 1/2 mile, at the furthest, at any point on the island to reach the ocean!


My first week of work has been very uneventful because the rest of the employees are not starting until January 17th and they do not want to train me and the boyfriend (yes we both work at the same place and yes I know that this will eventually end up causing us problems!) until all the new employees arrive. So I am surfing the net all week (but getting paid!!!) Tonight I am hitting up my first Bermuda pub and then I am going to a Just for Laughs show at some Bermuda hotel. Should be fun! I will take out the camera this weekend and capture some good moments and hopefully capture the beauty of this island a little bit!