When the World Turns Around and Bites you In the Ass

Well, I haven't written in the last week because I was getting perspective on what happened last weekend. I went to my hometown to go in the Corn Maze and when I returned home I convinced my significant other to go for a run. We went for a run and everything seemed great and then when we were riding in the elevator, I looked over and he looked sad. I asked him what was wrong and he proceeded to sit me down and break up with me. He essentially said that he could not see himself marrying me and since he was getting older he did not want to waste my time in something he truly believed would not work. I was seriously like WHAT THE FUCK??? This, seemingly came out of nowhere. I was so emotional that I tried to talk him out of it.

For the last week I have been thinking a lot about our relationship. It is hard to get past the good parts of our relationship and the good memories. When I first saw him, our first kiss, our first trip together, etc. But there is a glimmer of sense in the break-up. It was a hard week filled with very little sleep. We are both fundamentally different people and he may have been holding me down.

I am a guys girl. I get along great with other girls like me (most of my friends from home) and typical guys but when it comes to super girly-girls, I will be nice to them but..... The ex's friends all have girlfriends that are girly girls and, don't get me wrong, they are nice but they are very different from me. When we hang out with his friends that are couples (which are most of them) the girlfriends will sit there and not really talk and the girls themselves are not friends, they are simply there to accompany their mates. I am so not like that. I like to go out and have a good time always so I joke around with them and say my typically obnoxious stuff. I always felt that his friends were humoring me rather than truly listening to me. I felt kind of alienated when I hung out with them. The ex noticed this too and he would call me out on stuff I said to his friends and would over-analyze . He cares too much about what his friends think of him and since I was different than all his friends girlfriends, I guess that was too much to for him to handle.

Also, I think that we may have had different levels of motivation. When it came to our careers, I believe I am highly motivated whereas he is just "buying" his father's business. This would normally not be an issue because I can love anyone no matter what they do, as long as they aspire to do something. In our 2.5 year relationship, he never took any action to purchase the business. Also, as far as doing stuff, he never made any plans. If it was up to him, we would sit at home all the time. At first I tried to get him to come along with me and people I know to do interesting stuff, but gave up on trying and started to do stuff myself sans him. He was also impossible to get to go to the gym.

We also couldn't fight. We had different fighting styles. I would like to cool off a bit before talking whereas he would force me to talk about it immediately in the heat of the moment, where emotions ran high and bad things could be said. Essentially this resulted in us not being able to resolve anything and this snow-balled into the break-up.

I think that neither of us was willing or should have had to change the way we are. So essentially that results in me being SINGLE. Wowsa. The world is in trouble after a couple of months when I get over this shit. I am coming for you cute men! Now all I have to do is figure out how to split up a mortgage. Eeek!