So things are now in perspective for me. I am not 100% okay and I will not be for a while. But I am definitely on a break from men. I am trying to force myself to stay single, and find myself, as a result, in the next 6 months. Don't get me wrong, if I see a cute boy and I want to smooch him, I may just partake but I feel as though I have to figure out who I am before sharing that with someone else. I have seriously been that girl who always has a boyfriend. I want to try out single for a while. I think it could be fun. No perma-Saturday night dates, no making sure he is okay with your friends, no more just looking at the menu without sampling, etc.
The perfect man is out there for me and I plan on finding him, but in the meanwhile, I want to have some fun. There are two people whom I thought were him in my life, but they turned out to not be him. He is apparently hiding somewhere in the haunted house that is my life, and he will probably jump out and scare the crap out of me, when I least expect him to.
In the future, here are the qualities I would like to find in my future man:
1. Has to be attractive to me - He does not have to be the perfect Hollywood guy, but I have to be attracted to him.....duh!
2. Has to have a good heart - He has to basically have the capacity to love me and not too fast
3. Has to like the outdoors - I love camping, hiking and other such sports and I would like to share that with someone because I will be doing it regardless
4. Has to have a good sense of humor - Seriously, when a guy talks to me for the first time, it can knock him from a 7 to a 10 or from a 10 to a 6 depending on what comes out of his mouth and how much he makes me laugh
5. Has to be ambitious - If he is my age, he cannot be at the point in his life where he is ready to coast because there is lots more to accomplish (please note that ambition doesn't necessarily=money, but rather a want to enrich his life)
6. Has to be able to disagree with me - something I learnt from this last relationship is that fights are inevitable but if you ignore your issues than they snowball
7. Has to be silly and slightly strange - I like to have fun and sometimes I can get downright silly, he has to keep up!
Well, I spoke to the ex last night and he sounded like he may be slightly regretting his decision. He didn't say for sure but it seemed that way. But I don't think that changes anything. I think that him saying those things to me motivated me to look at our relationship and come to my own conclusion that we were not good together. But how do I know that there is something better out there or that I will not regret this many years down the road?
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1 comment:
I just got caught up on the last post too.
I think it's very smart of you to take this opportunity to have fun for you and hey, now you can be the Kissing Bandit with no guilt if you so choose!!!
Your List of Demands is great...you could put this into a spreadsheet with extra columns to use as a checklist for the future guys you meet.
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