Weekend Shenanigans

This weekend was quite alot of fun!!!! Well me and three girls left Cowtown at 1pm on Friday to go to our soccer tourney. I knew two of the girls relatively well from playing soccer with them for a year but the third girl I did not know. She turned out to be my personality twin....so much fun times!!! On the way up not too much that was eventful occurred. On the drive up we got "passed" (more like friggin' cut off) by this idiot in a truck that had a "Size does matter" decal on the back of his truck. That is seriously hot.......................not!!!! Anyways this jackass cut us off and then we went to a truck stop to use the facilities and this guy was there. His wife was in the truck and he started hitting on us. He was the hugest redneck ever. He had a wife-beater on and he was wayyyyy to tanned for it being May. He proceeded to tell me friend that he is "going to check up on his nice cabin in Kelowna and then he is going to put his 40 ft. boat in the water". He told us he would come to Penticton and give us a ride on his 40 ft. boat. Well buddy seriously take your 2 inch penis and go hit on some drunk 18 year olds because that stuff does not work on us!!!

Next we drove for a while and went to another truck stop where we met this guy called Gordon Bird. He was doing a cross-country bike ride from Victoria to Charlottetown. He started on April 1st and was only at Rogers Pass (whoa fast.......ummmmm). He was telling my friend about his bike and said that it was really compact, so she was picturing a bike that you could fold up and put in a briefcase, so she wanted to see the bike. So she went out and was looking at his bike and couldn't help but notice the Birdman's huge bulge in his bike shorts. So funny! So all weekend we were talking about his bulge...oh road trips, how I love thee.

When we got there we played 4 games and won 3 of them. We played this team from Langley, BC and we were all falling apart, as it was our 6th game in a 1 week period, and they beat us 3-2. Under normal circumstances we would have kicked their butts but they had 6 subs and we had none. Anyways they figured that they were for sure in the finals to play for first, as they bragged right in front of us in the beer gardens. But they did not know about the wild card team. So usually, a wild car team is when a team that is close to the bottom is given a chance to play their way back into the tournament when they would have normally been knocked out. Typically they play the 1st or 2nd place team to have a chance to get back into the tourney. But instead, the brilliant organizers of this tournament allowed the 2nd last place team to play the last and the 3rd last place team. So of course they had more points than all the others teams, seeing as though they got to play another whole game and of course they won both games and made it to the finals to play for first place. So the team that we annihilated 5-0 was playing for first.....nice!!! They bumped the 2nd place team from Langley into the bronze medal finals (who were positive that they were playing in the gold finals). The gold and bronze finals were played at different times. So we show up at the pitch at 11 am to play the bronze medal finals against Langley who didn't show up. Instead the coach of the 5th place team who thought he was playing for 3rd against us shows up and we decide to offer to play them for 3rd place instead of stupid Langley who was still asleep in their friggin hotel. Anyways we beat them and won some butt ugly t-shirts and some wine.

The rest of the weekend was fun. We went out to the local Penticton bars (or as we now prefer to refer to it as Pen"dick"ton) and had a good time. The first night it was only the 4 girls from room that went out as we had a game at 9 am the next day. The bar we went to was slightly stange. There were a bunch of skanky gals that we full on grinding with these guys from a frat from the states (they came down because the drinking age in B.C. is 19 instead of the State's legal age of 21). These gals had no shame. They were bending over and stickin' their butts in the guys crotches and shaking it and when they tried to come back up the guys would push them down. They would also shimmy down and they were wearing wayyyyyy too short of skirts and I saw way too much underwear!!!! Ewww. We looked like grandmas, compared to these gals, as we were all wearing jeans and we were dancing normally. Classy girls, classy!

The second night another few girls from the team joined us and we got liquored and went to another bar with our coach. He was happy going out with 8 or 9 gals dressed to the nines!! We danced our asses off and drank way too much. As I was one of the only gals that weren’t single, I was going out and scouting for guys for my friends. I found my one friend this really cute guy that was a bit younger. Turns out he was a virgin (no idea how I found out that) but he tried to dance with my friend with his hands on her butt a la grade nine slow dance style. She wasn't down and told him to beat it. We did all such of other fun things like danced this guy off the speakers.

On the way home we also had a good time. There were these guys honking at each other in one of the huge ass tunnels that protect cars from rock slides in B.C. So we decided to join in the fun and I mooned them. They then passed us and mooned us and then my friend mooned them. The next time they came by one of them had written "HI", one letter on each cheek, on their butt. So my friend was like "Will you write I heart you on my butt?" And I'm like for sure!!!! So my friend rolled down her seat completely and dropped trou and I wrote I love you on her butt. The heart was half on one cheek and half on the other. They next time we mooned them and they were pissing themselves laughing. So they drive by with their number written on a piece of paper. My friend, balsy as she is, immediately phoned them. Her and my other single friend are going out for drinks with them next week. What will they tell the grandchildren about their first meeting? Who knows????

When I got home the boyfriend was a bit mad at me because he thought I would be home way earlier than 11pm and my cell phone was dead so I couldn't call him. Anyways I asked him if he knew the girl I had never met before but had a really good time with and it turns out they had hooked up before. Funny, she never mentioned that.....haha!!! Ah well I guess it's a small world. I will definitely hook with her for drinks sometime despite that knowledge because she and the other gals from soccer team remind me of my friends from Red Deer (the small town an hour and a half North of Cowtown). They were small town gals from the big city. Usually most of the girls I meet that grew up in Calgary are a bit prissy so it's a breath of fresh air to know that there are still people in this city that I don't have to censor myself in front of!!!!

I wonder was crazy shiat we'll get up to this weekend when I go to the Sasquatch Music Festival (http://www.hob.com/tickets/festivals/sasquatch/2006/) at the Gorge this weekend with the boyfriend and two friends? I'll keep you posted.